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Desperation forces Innovation

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about my own personal comfort level. I write this as I sit in an office surrounded by books on a really nice computer. Today I received a paycheck which is always nice. One of my sons had to go to the doctor yesterday so I was grateful for the medical insurance that comes with my job.  I really enjoy the comfort’s that my job provides to me.

I’ll be honest too in saying that I’m probably not really innovative.   Yes we are doing great things here and I love my church and our youth ministry staff team. But, we’re not at work 7am-7pm trying to keep things afloat.  We don’t feel a huge amount of pressure or need to create something that is hugely successful or even sustainable. We have budgets to cover the costs of things.

In the geek side of my life I like to read a lot about technology and am always fascinated by startup companies that come up with ideas and go “all out” to try and make things happen.  When I watched the “Social Network” I was enthralled by all the late nights and dedication he put into developing “The Facebook.”

So how do we get innovative? 

Recently a couple friends of mine started something that I’m super impressed with.  And it’s not what they are doing that is so impressive but they way they are doing it.

The Youth Cartel started by Mark Oestreicher and Adam Mclane is a new thing. And it’s a fledgling start-up with a bunch of cool things on the horizon. But, they are doing everything in a new way that is in part encouraged by what I called “forced Innovation.”  Since they don’t have the luxury anymore of working for big churches or companies they have to be out there on the edge making things happen. This last couple weeks I was super impressed with how they were planning “Extended Adolescence Symposium” they are planning on doing in Atlanta November 21.  When they first started planning this event they basically were honest and said they had no money and the only way for this thing to work was if people sponsored it, bought into the kickstarter mindset and as a community made it happen. I think they had to raise $6,000 and at the time of this writing they’ve raised over $8,000.  There were different ways of supporting them all the way from being a full sponsor and getting to hawk your stuff to the group to just paying $250 to have lunch with one of the speakers or paying a little bit more to get an e-book and audio of the event.  Brilliant stuff I think and super innovative.  Great reward of pulling off something cool but little risk since they were raising the money before hand and if it wasn’t raised they couldn’t cancel without any problems.

Who knows how this thing will end up with those two but if the present is any indication of the future promise I’m looking forward to seeing.

There’s a lot of need for innovation in the Youth Ministry world now. I’m hearing quite a bit that Youth Specialties is going to be rolling out a new vision and plan this fall and I’m excited for that. I’m a fan of Mark Matlock and Doug Fields and the rest of their team.  This is a good season to be a youth worker and I’m hoping that with all of this going on that more of us get creative, innovative and strategic.

Maybe the biggest problem with me right now is my comfort level. Maybe I’d get a lot more done and be way more innovative if I was desperate. I don’t know if that’s the case but I think on one level it has to be true.

Parents: You have issues. Deal with them.

Once a week I’m committed to writing a post aimed at parents. I landed on this idea mostly when I realized that I don’t really have any of this parenting thing figured out and I’m guessing most of my friends with kids don’t either.  We all fake it pretty well and act like we don’t have issues but the reality is we all do and it would be great if we were freed up to deal with them. So here’s this weeks thought. Parents.  You have issues.  I don’t know what they are but they are there.  And, it affects how you parent. Maybe it’ll make you feel better and me worse to tell you what some of mine are.  I promised that I would be transparent in my blogging so here you go. I’m: Insecure, impatient, controlling, stressed, anxious, unkind and lazy. Here’s how that plays out in my house: I need affirmation about how I’m doing. this can drive people nuts.  My impatience shows up especially in the morning as I’m making breakfast and trying to get kids to school. I’ve had to apologize more times than I’d like to admit on the way to school.  I also struggle with trying to control things. This shows up with finances and time issues.  I’m stressed and anxious a lot about time and money (notice a theme) and I don’t very often respond in a gracious and caring way when I’m dealing with my issues. Being Unkind is something that I hate about myself.  I wish I could always respond with a gracious word, action or idea.  It pains me when I hurt people with words.  I wish I practiced holding my tongue more and new how to be a better pastor. The lazy thing is probably something I claim for myself that isn’t really true but it still shapes me.  I work pretty hard and am involved in a ton of stuff. I don’t procrastinate often or fulfill the things I’m supposed to do but when I do I tend to crash pretty hard and beat myself up. My friend and Co-Worker Rhett wrote a great post today encouraging parents to not place their anxiety on kids.  I echo his thoughts and want to encourage parents to work through their issues. So my point is don’t allow your issues to become your kids issues. It’s not fair to them when you make your deal theirs. Let me be even more blunt. In my wealthy community I see well meaning parents all the time put their issue of needing to be successful on their kids and literally forcing their kids to try to solve their parents problems..  I would love to see parents who were more concerned that their kids love Jesus than calculus. I’d like to see parents who’s daddy or mommy issues weren’t played out in front of their kids. Here’s my thoughts for parents. 1. Provide a safe place where adults/students can be real 2. Find a parenting class you can be involved in and commit to going regularly. 3. Don’t feel like you have to solve everything or do anything to fix every problem. Start on small issues. 4. Be in community with other parents. Isolation will kill you. 5. Let other parents know you care about their input. Make them understand you value them. I’ll end this post by saying yesterday morning I was a poor parent. I was frustrated with my boys when I felt they weren’t being responsible to getting things done on time. The reality is they were on time but on a different schedule than me.  I fully admit I don’t know what I’m doing 90% of the time but with my community I generally figure it out. Thanks friends who know the real Lars and like him in-spite of him and believe in him regardless of the life he has shown them.    

Steps of Justice

My friend Phil Cunningham has been leading the charge for a while now in helping Youth Workers think about Justice in new ways.  Last year he put together this amazing 30-Day Steps of Justice Prayer guide and today they released a video that helps explain what they are all about.  Check it out and you will be changed.

Struggling with understanding how grace works

I had a great conversation with a close friend tonight via text message. (Yes I still call those conversations) we were talking about how he is frustrated because there are some people in his church past who are being judgmental about choices he's making in his life now.  His response to me was that when people go into that mode he just "cuts them out" of his life because it's not worth it. As the conversation continued I challenged him to think about how he needs to be gracious to them. At the time when I  wrote that he needed to "show grace" it sounded like a pretty good thing for me to say.  But, all night long I've been thinking about it more and more and wonder really if that was good advice.  

As we continued talking I asked him if he'd cut me out if I started to question him and to confront him on issues.  He said no because I'd "earned" the right to be honest and straightforward with him because he knows I love him.  Does that mean I've "earned" grace from him when I say tough things?

I'm wrestling with this as I question how "conditional" my grace is.  I want to be a part of a Christian life that tells people that no matter where they are at I will accept them and love them.  But, I also want to make sure that they know I hold to some Biblical principles that I think we are told to follow.  

I truly believe what Paul writes in Romans 8:38-39 that "nothing" can separate us from God's Love. I also desire to model that with my friend with my own love.  

I think a lot about teenagers and their often crazy lives.  I want students that I work with to always know that the grace we show them is fully unconditional.  That we will not love  more if they reach our "standards" of living.  

This whole thing has gotten me a little frustrated because I do fully love and support my friend.  He's hurt and frustrated and feels like he has the right to cut these people out. But, I think that grace goes both ways. He has to figure out how to give it to those who are hurting him even if they are choosing to withhold it. 

I just wish that I could model this better.  I'm also wishing our churches knew how to love people where they are first.

 

Youth Ministry: How do you free students to dream? Hint: Hand them your credit card.

I was with a group of youth workers today in Dallas at something we called the "Unconference" which was basically just a time of prayer, dreaming and talking about Youth Ministry without any paid experts in the room or any venders present.   The goal was to engage the youth ministry community of Dallas (and a few people who flew in) to see what topics we needed to talk about and just jump in.    The format was to allow for 4  one hour long conversations about topics  that were brought by the participants. 

I was fully prepared for us to talk about Dallas and dreams for youth ministry and had my standard "If we could dream big and money was not an option what would we do" idea when someone flipped it around on me.  In one of our discussions my friend  Mark Riddle encouraged me to think about what it would look like to give students the freedom to dream. All of the sudden a switch flipped in me when I realized that I hadn't asked any students what their dreams were in a long time.   It would change my role to not be in charge but to instead be  put in the position of helping to empower them dream bigger and make their dreams happen. 

David Grant the Youth Pastor at Irving Bible Church told a story about how some girls in his group were given the freedom to dream big and they decided one day that they were going to make a 700+ sandwiches to give away to a homeless ministry.  One of the girls called him and asked for his credit card so that they could go and buy the supplies to get this project going.  He gladly handed over his card and supported something that involved a bunch of students showing up at his church one afternoon to make sandwiches. 

Are you willing to do hand an 11th grade girl your credit card?  

We talk all the time about discipling and growing students closer to the LORD but I don't always feel like I do a very good job of providing them resources to take some of their dreams and make a reality.  

So here's my challenge today.  Think about what it would look like to both challenge your students to dream bigger and how you can provide them the resources to make those dreams happen.  Maybe you are like me and  haven't created a culture of that in your youth ministry.  Maybe your first step is to give them opportunities to dream and share those dreams.  If that's the case start there.  

I think teenagers are pretty amazing and have great ideas.  Sometimes they have crazy ideas but those are often fun too.  Our job needs to be helping to encourage and to release dreams.  

We are often the keepers of the keys to make dreams a reality.  Are you wiling to make things messy in order to lovingly make those dreams come real?  

Christian Endeavor and organization with the longest roots in youth ministry that I know of has taken on this challenge at the core of who they are.  Tim Eldred recently published a book called the "4 Hour Youth Ministry: Escaping the trap of full-time youth ministry" which I think shoves us in this direction.  He is passionate about releasing students to be leaders and to engage them in real activities with meaning not just entertain them with Youth Ministry Games.  I've had some opportunity to sit with Tim and have been very impressed with the team he's put together, the complete overhaul of that organization and the focus that they have to empower students.  I'm really looking forward to seeing what they are going to lead us to in the future and think you should check out some links and get to know them. 

Youthfront: Storytelling and family vacation

Now that I have finished my time at the hospital I am taking a needed family vacation.  We're up at Youthfront Camp South this week near Kansas City where I am teaching a group of High School Students. What I love about YouthFront is that their learning model involves some amazing ways of connecting students beyond the traditional "camp speaker" type set up.  So I share in the morning and then they have some reflection time to connect with it followed that night with a concrete experience focused on the same topic and then another great response time.  The goal as I see it is to reach a diverse group of students in very different ways all aiming at giving them more than just the "right answers".   

There are some very specific "rhythms" to how this camp runs too with morning prayer and midday prayer times.  Today before lunch at 12pm I walked into the chapel to see 200 students laying around on the floor engaged in an amazing time of corporate prayer and worship. 

On another note I'm hanging with my friend Mike King and tonight met with Chris Folmsbee of Barefoot Ministries.   Mike and Chris are involved in a ton of things but one close to my heart is the new Youth Ministry Magazine called "Immerse: A journal of Faith, Life and Youth Ministry"  which I am on the advisory board for and do some writing in.  

This is the Rood families first time in the Midwest and so far it's been real nice.  We're hoping to actually get to drive into Kansas City at some point this week and sample some of its barbecue which I hear they think rivals Texas pretty well.  

Thanks for all of you who have been praying for me during my time as a chaplain this spring. It was an amazing experience that really changed me and I know that I am a better pastor and person because of it. I'm still looking forward to seeing what God will do with it all. 

Rob Bell Resurrection

Heading to Orcas

 Orcas
Once a year I head to a place that I think is pretty magical.  It's so magical that some really great people whom I like spend a lot of time there writing books.  Don Miller, Anne Jackson and Len Sweet (who also calls it his home).  I have the opportunity each year to head up there because of my connection with George Fox Seminary and the Doctorate of Ministry that I did there a few years back.  The seminary is incredible at being forward thinking and they realized last year that pulling back together some of the graduating students is a good thing and would pay off in great ways.  So,  a great cadre of thinkers was put together for a few days to do just that, think. And they invited me.  :)

One of my best friends Jeff and I have made this our yearly pilgrimage and both of us are committed to doing this as long as they are planning on having us.  Jeff is on the pastoral team of this really cool church in Laguna Beach, California.  He and I have been friends almost 20 years and he's one of the greatest thinkers I know. 

I haven't written books like many of my friends who have spent time here but I will say that every time I go to Orcas I feel smarter, deeper and wiser.  It may just be that it's because of the people I spend time with or it may be that this is a sacred space where there is a connection with God and ourselves that is just different and deep.  These times with Len and the rest of the cohort are incredibly valuable to me and life giving as well.  It's almost as if I feel I can just sit and absorb so much and it makes me a better writer, pastor and person.

I should also say that I grew up in Washington and called Whidbey Island my home for my whole growing up years.  It's just south of the San Juan Islands and is a pretty cool place to be from in my mind. 

Youth Ministry Longevity

I was thinking a ton this weekend about how grateful I am to have had a pretty long career in youth ministry.  Danielle and I were flown out to Los Angeles where I was performing a wedding for a former student.  This was a girl who was part of the amazing core of students I spent time with at Bel Air Presbyterian Church.  She was also in Danielle's small group, babysat our kids, came with us on vacations, interned for me in San Diego and just became an amazing friend.  Her husband Shea is also a great story because his faith has grown leaps and bounds in the last bunch of years.

The wedding was a ton of fun because so many of the great families that I've been close to were all there.  I've done weddings for many of them too and have another coming up in April.  It's like every time I do a wedding out there its just a big party celebrating the youth ministry that I was a part of.

It's been a while since I worked at that church but social networking has made it so that I'm still very connected to many of the students and families that I did ministry to there. 

It was a great time and I'm looking forward to seeing all of them again in April.  

I'm pretty sure that these are kids that I will stay connected to for my whole life.  I like to think about that.

Coach to Cure MD

Poysky

One of my best friends in the world James has a son who has Duchennes Muscular Dystrophy.  They are hosting an event on September 26th called Coaches to Cure where major college football coaches from all over the US are supporting this cause of raising awareness and funds for MD.  Please watch this video and then consider joining the crusade to help create awareness for this problem.

Watch the Video Here

Check out the website for Coaches to Cure here.
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