Youth Ministry Falsehood #6: You must be an Extrovert

A few months back I did an interview with Adam S. McHugh for his blog the Introverted Church.   In the interview I pretty much outed myself as not being an extrovert.   This came as a surprise to a lot of people who have interacted with me over the years.  Many of them were surprised because I clearly don’t come across all the time as an introvert.  But, it’s true. I don’t get energy from being around people and I need a lot of alone time to recuperate after an event.  I call myself a “Functional Extrovert” which in general just means I can “fake” it really well.

This doesn’t mean I don’t like people.  I love people and being around people.  I find myself at conference, camps and events sleeping very little because I don’t want to miss anything. At times I do this really well.  But, you should see me in the few days after those events.  I’m a wreck and really wiped out.

One of the dominate  beliefs since the early days of youth ministry is that youth workers needed big outgoing dynamic personalities.  The paradigm was that youth workers needed to be Outgoing Extroverts who “drew” students to them like the Pied Piper.  And in many cases this model of youth ministry worked really well.  The “superstar” youth worker was the leader who received all the praise, had some of the largest ministries and was invited to speak at all the conferences, retreats and events.  But, this model also worked pretty horribly when that Youth Worker left, fell apart or had a life transition.

It used to be that Introverts didn’t have much place in our ministries.  It was difficult to figure out what to do with someone if they weren’t a dynamic outgoing personality.  But, I think things have changed.

One thing I’ve  seen happen in the last 5 years is an explosion of new ways in which introverts can have larger roles.  With the rise in new media we’ve had a whole bunch of people who blog, tweet, e-mail, text, Facebook etc. all of the sudden how find a place where their voices are being heard by many people yet they are not forced to try to fit into big upfront roles.  It used to be that the youth workers who wrote books were only those who were also speaking, teaching at conferences and big events.  Now that’s not the case. A whole bunch of new voices of youth workers are starting to write and publish amazing content independent of having to be those upfront voices or major extroverts. I think this is a great thing (says the guy who is sitting alone in his office)  because it gives a voice and a place for introverts.  Now we should be able to approach people in our church who might not be the stereotypical youth workers and find great meaningful roles for them to be a part of.

My challenge is to churches to really think about what the needs are for their students and ministries. I think a lot of churches think they are “one hire” away from having a great dynamic youth ministry program.  In general a lot of people have still bought into the Extrovert model and believe that if they can just find that right person things will be great.  But, it might be that hiring a behind the scenes master planner, organizer and thinker might actually be a better fit/need for the longer term success of the ministry.

So if you are not an extrovert you are fine.   You can do great youth ministry.  My advice is to do what I do and make sure to set your self up for success and have great trips, activities and retreats that you can go on and love and care for students but also make sure you have some downtime to be able to recharge in the midst of it.

Youth Ministry Falsehoods.

1. You must be with students 24/7
2. You must be young
3. You must be single/married
4. You must be irresponsible and fly by the Seat of your Pants
5. You must be theologically trained
6. You must be an extrovert
7. You must a great upfront communicator
8. You must be wild and crazy and a kid magnet
9. You must be willing to be poor
10. You must want to be a “real” pastor some day