A little while back I was at a local neighborhood restaurant called Burgerhouse. My son was celebrating his birthday and was sitting around an outdoor table with 7 other 4th grade boys. Right next to them was a table of about the same number of what I guessed were 12th grade boys.
I was observing both groups as I sat at my table. There were a lot of similarities. They ate the same with elbows on the table just shoving food in their mouths like it would disappear if they didn't. They also were all laughing a lot and the jokes seemed to be fairly lighthearted and pointed at each other. Both tables looked like they were having a great time. They all seemed pretty comfortable where they were and seemed to just "fit" at that place and with each other.
As I sat there I thought about the roughly 8 years that separated those two groups. I wondered what had taken place in those years that had drawn those 12th grade boys together. I thought about all the experiences they must have gone through? The things that had shaped them. I wondered what difficulties they had dealt with? What were their families like and what adults had poured into their lives? As a youth pastor I thought about their faith and what they were living for?
I found myself sitting there eating pepper fries and praying for both groups. For the younger boys I prayed that they would have people like those seniors pour into them and care for them. I prayed that they would stay connected to each other and be secure in who they were so they wouldn't feel the need to tear others down to feel better. For the older boys I prayed for their future and the decisions that they were having to make. I prayed that their past wouldn't negatively shape them or affect them in a way that made life difficult. I thought about their future need for community and friendship and wondered if those burgers and that table might not be a pretty special memory for them many years from then.
Since that dinner I've been thinking a lot about my son and the next 8 years of his life. I am really excited for these years. Sure I'm a bit terrified too but I think that goes with being a parent. I've already seen some great gifts in my son. I think he's got an amazing heart. He is concerned about others. He wants to do what's right and he is a great friend. I'm praying for friends that he'll always have and I think about all the other adults and youth leaders that will impact him.
I have great hope in teenagers. I don't think I would have lasted in Youth Ministry 20 years if I didn't. I look at tables of boys and groups of girls and just wonder what it is God is going to do with them. I think that teenagers need to know that we believe in them and think that they are amazing. They've got enough stress in their lives and they don't need more in the Church. Love them where they are at. Love them for who they are. Love them for what they do. Don't hold out love or hope for only when they meet some subjective criteria that you have for finally believing in them.
This is a blog where I point fingers at myself. I'm doing that now and reminding myself that if I say I have hope in them that I have to act like I do. I don't always know what this means but I think if I have hope and belief that they are amazing that is the right place to start.
My great hope is teenagers.
