I hit a nerve with my last post so I thought I'd try to unpack some of thoughts that many of you shared in the comments here and also on my Facebook wall.   

Before you read further I want to make sure you hear me say that I'm only writing this because I care about churches and helping make them better. I'm not anti-church nor am I thinking that I am the solution to problems.  I'm just creating a platform where we can talk about both the problems and the solutions.  I still have a lot of hope for the Church but I am also a realist that says we need to be way more honest about our churches than we currently are.  Many of us have issues that we just aren't willing to talk about that are huge.  I'm just trying to be honest and help provide some thought solutions for the Church. 

There's a couple reasons why working in a church can be pretty lame.  I haven't experienced all of these but I know that enough of you have that you can identify with many of these issues.  Before I list them out I do want to say that I wish that the world wasn't full of sin and I generally think that people are pretty good.  But, even in the church world people do lame stuff and that's just an unfortunate reality.  The Church world also comes with some inherent problems that often times encourages these problems and can makes them worse. 

I'm going to list these out in no particular order and I'll probably miss a few or add a few that you might think aren't really true.  The nice thing about the blog is that you can correct me in the comments if I'm wrong or forgot something. I want to make sure to state here too that I'm not generally a negative person and I love my church and my job.  I've just been working with a lot of you who don't love yours so I thought I'd try to identify some problems and work on solutions. 

1. Because we're taught to turn the other cheek:  So often in the church we are hurt and people run over us because they believe that we are "forced" by our convictions to turn the other cheekt. I know many of us have experienced this too many times.   I've received mean e-mails and phone calls from people who feel like it's ok to blast me or a program that they don't like because they know that those of us who work in churches generally won't fight back.  This year I had an experience with a parent where they were saying some incredibly mean things and I took the high road in all my replies and my e-mails.  Someone  else called me Henry Kissinger because of my diplomacy but inside I was ticked and wanted to tell this person off.  The unfortunate thing here is that when we do stand up for ourselves or say what we think we often get criticized for that because that's not the "christian" way.  It's a really fine line and many haven't learned to walk it very well.  I can say that early in my ministry I replied without much tact and grace to quite a few e-mails and I got in a lot of hot water.  It sucked and wasn't fun but I learned how to stand up for myself while at the same time letting go of things that are silly. 

Solution: Be careful but be honest.  You will have to figure out your style for dealing with conflict.  It's never easy and some of you are terrified of it.  I'd advise in general that E-mail is horrible way of conflict resolution.  The only real way to deal with things like this is to actually talk to the person.  And… don't get too frustrated before you talk to them.  It's probably true that they have some sort of reason for what they are sharing and you need to make sure they know you hear them and are trying to understand what they are expressing.  I'd love to hear from you if you have a success story of how you have navigated a particular issue in this area and found success. 

2. Because Church Leaders are given roles they are not qualified for:  Ok so this one may hurt but I'll say it anyways.  When you are ordained in my denomination you're ordained to only two things and they are limited to Worship and Sacraments.   No where in that classification does it say I'm qualified to do a budget, lead a team, run a board meeting, understand Roberts rules of order, drive a bus, give advice on communications strategy or a ton of other things that I'm often asked to do.  I have gone to school for 3 degrees.  My first degree says I can generally talk with some sort of credibility about Politics (surprisingly helpful in the church.)  My second degree says that I have somehow been trained in Theology, Biblical Languages and Preaching (also helpful in the church.)  My Third Degree is a bit more nebulous but it was a degree in leadership specifically as it applies to the future of "the church" meaning we were encouraged to think and question how things are done and should be done. (this degree probably gets me in trouble the most.)  

My concern in this area is that we give too much responsibility and credibility to those who the church gives specific Titles like Pastor, Elder, Deacon, Youth Director, etc.   I've worked at a church before when questions came up about Youth Ministry and someone who had no education, limited training and no current experience was considered the "authority" on youth ministry just because they had a "title" that seemed impressive.  I'm advocating here that we actually limited all our roles in the church and don't hand over power or take to quickly.  I'm not qualified for many things and I shouldn't have too much power. Unfortunately, many churches don't operate this way and you might find yourself working in a church where unqualified people are leading.  This can be really tough if you are going to work at a church that has looser standards for titles.  I worked at a church once who ordained everyone they hired and called them pastor.  In my mind that cheapened the title quite a bit.  I currently work at a church with incredibly difficult standards for ordination that require advanced degrees, years of preparation, exams and the need for confirmation from various committees.  I wish that they would ordain me tomorrow but there is a lot of value in this process for me.  I hope that last statement doesn't offend you if your church ordained you quickly.  You just have the same responsibility as me.  Live up to the title and be careful with your power.

Solution:  Realize that this is the way it is in many places and learn to communicate to your senior leadership in a way that both communicates honestly your needs and expectations but doesn't put them in a position where they feel threatened.  And if you are in a senior leadership role make sure to allow those who you lead to feel heard and valued.  It's when someone doesn't feel valued that this becomes the biggest problem.  Again where have you found success in dealing with this particular issue? 

3. Because we need money-   This is probably the more sticky issue than I really want to address here so I'll just say it as simple as I can.  Churches are dependent upon people giving money.  We know it and our congregations know it.  That's why unfortunately in many congregations those with the biggest wallets can sometimes hold a lot of power.  I was just going to say here that I think this is a bigger problem at smaller churches with fewer members  but I think it's just as big of a problem at a large church. As a part of my job at the church ultimately I have to please families and students.  I honestly don't know the amount of money that is given by those families and students but I know it's probably a pretty big chunk and if they are unhappy and that chunk diminishes there could be problems.  I've heard from quite a few people over the years who have lost their jobs in the youth ministry world because the church hasn't met the budget.  Increasingly it is becoming more difficult for churches to raise money. Part of that is economic issues and part of it is the information age.  It's easy now to find specific needs that are independent of churches to give money too and many people are doing that.  Great non-profit organizations have been started to help provide clean water, medical care, food and a ton of other things that traditionally was the role of the church.  But, when people find out about these groups and feel like their resources do a better job of helping meet needs that's where they are giving money. 

Solution: Spend money wisely, communicate effectively, listen to the congregation, partner with great non-profits who already have solid infrastructure.  Someone shared something with me a few years back about camping ministry. They said that so many camps built new structures and programs 10 years ago and now they are finding that they can't raise enough money to keep up with maintenance and electricity.  Have we done that with some of our churches? I think the days of the solo church trying to meet all needs of it's congregation are over.  There are so many resources available to us out there that we have got to learn to utilize strategic partnerships.  The last bit of advice I would give here is to ask other churches what they are doing.  Find out how different congregations take care of this issue and learn from them. 

Ok So I realized as I wrote this that I'm probably going to split this into a couple of Blog Posts.  So if you want to read "Why working at a church can suck Part 2" Put some comments up and I'll work on taking your ideas and continuing this thought stream.

Here's a few more things I want to talk about:

4. Because there is never a day where you will get everything done: 

5. Because your life will feel like you might be living it in a bubble:

6. Because in spite of feeling like you are being used by God you are also feeling used by people:

7. Because you might have trouble finding a place where you can be real and transparent: