I’m Thinking about Growing up.

It’s probably time to admit that I’m starting to feel the midlife thing kicking in a little bit.  I’m about to hit a pretty significant birthday milestone this year and it’s causing me to do a lot of reflecting about my life. 

Now here’s the deal.  I’m pretty happy with my life.  I’ve got an amazing wife who puts up with my idiosyncrasies and I thank God for everyday, great kids who I love to watch grow up, an amazing job, supportive church, all 4 parents still alive and a community that we are really enjoying being a part of.   I’ve been given some amazing opportunities over the years and they seem to coming more frequently.  I’m healthy, have a comfortable bed and am enjoying a pretty great cup of coffee right now

But with all that said I’m still feeling a bit of the angst about this year. 

I’m not planning on upgrading anything in my life except my diet and perhaps a laptop.  I just don’t feel like there is anything better than what I already have.   But this really isn’t it anyways. 

I am not feeling angst because of things I wish I had in my life.  I’m feeling the angst because I wish that I were different in other people’s lives. 

What I’m feeling isn’t really about me it’s really about wishing that I were better for everyone else.   I wish I were a better husband, a better dad, a better son, a better brother a better boss a better friend and better pastor.  I wish that I were a better writer, a better encourager a better supporter and a better teacher. 

Why do I feel this way?  I think it’s because I believe that people deserve it.  I really don’t want to get the accolades or win awards I just want to have my interactions with people make them better and not have the opposite affect.  I want to get to a point where I feel that my impact on people helps them to grow both in their character but also in their relationship with Jesus. 

Fortunately this goal doesn’t require the purchase of a red convertible because in spite of my really liking my life right now I couldn’t afford one.  J

If anyone wants to pay off my student loans give me a call.