Part 9: What you feed grows what you starve Dies.

Starting out this post with the statement "As a Veteran Youth Worker here’s something I think is important" is hard for me to say because I don’t want to appear arrogant.  I sometimes feel with my staff that I fall into the "Back in my day we did it this way" sort of talk.  So, this is a huge disclaimer to say I write this filled with humility and holding onto the grace God has granted me in the 15 years I’ve been doing this thing called Youth Ministry.

As a Veteran Youth worker and believer over the years I’ve done a lot of work on this last topic.  Sadly I mostly have learned the hard way that my personal walk with the Lord takes a lot of work.   One of the things about youth ministry in the past is that it was so developed on the personality and gifts of particular leaders that often strong healthy spiritual relationships with God were not as important as jeeps, smiles, good hair and flip flops.

Several years ago I had an experience at a church where I was in conversation with one of my supervisors when he told me that my expectation of how much time I needed to prepare for my weekend talks was unrealistic and unnecessary as "he" was able to do it in much less time.   Now this was a guy I respected but I also disagreed with in many areas of ministry.   Probably important to also mention that this was a church where the senior pastor was a phenomenal teacher who talked for at least 45 minutes and had amazing study notes available to read.  Clearly he spent a large portion of his week preparing sermons.  The message that was sent to me in that conversation was that study and prep (to the level I wanted to do) was just not a "value" in the youth department.

My own spiritual walk has often taken on the look of a field.  Sometimes it lies fallow without much too it but then after a lot of work it tends to bloom only to eventually lie fallow again.  I would be lying if I said I had this whole thing figured out.  I could make a lot of excuses about kids, family, job, marriage and all of that but the reality is I still haven’t figured out how to be consistent in most things in my life.  I know when I am near the Lord and out of that closeness and connection comes great talks, good writing and a heart that is compassionate and loving.  I’d like to say that’s exactly where I am right now but it’s not true.  I think the field is growing which is great but also scary because the pattern says it will eventually be fallow again.

In Youth Ministry it’s clear that when we feed particular areas growth happens.  If we’re focusing on outreach, camps, retreats, activities then often the group will grow but when those things stop or we do something poorley the group will shrink again.  Conversely when we focus on teaching, theology, relationships, missions/service and spiritual growth we see those things grow. 

Balance is probably an overused word but also something that needs to be consistently brought up.  Depending on who you ask you’ll always get a differing opinion on the "purpose" of youth ministry.  None of those reasons are wrong but simply fulfilling the felt needs of students, parents or church leaders only gets you so far and neglects other real needs that they don’t know how to express. 

So let’s pray that if there are areas on our youth ministry (or lives) that are dying that they are dying because we’ve made the choice to allow them to die and they are not dying because we’ve simply forgotten to nurish them.

Part 1: Parents are your best friends or worst enemies.
Part 2: You won’t like every kid and every kid won’t like you.
Part 3: Perceived vs. Real Needs.
Part 4: Learn to say you are sorry.
Part 5: Better Safe than Sued
Part 6: Find friends outside of youth ministry.

Part 7: Stick to it
Part 8: It’s not about you
Part 9: What you feed grows. What you starve Dies.
Part 10: Have a life outside of ministry.  Marriage/family/relationships.
Part 11: Fall in Love with God again.