Ok people can we finally admit that the days of the superhero celebrity youth pastor are finally over.  The way ministry was done in the 70′s-90′s was great and it worked because those were the times that large rally’s and "big" celebrity driven youth events were all the rage.  But, those things don’t happen anymore and if they do it’s usually a specific denominational or event that has withstood the test of time.

Here’s the best way I can explain how culturally this shift has happened.  It used to be when I was growing up that when a particular band came out with an album that everyone I knew would go buy it and that’s all we would listen to for weeks.  That was back when our only access to music was via radio or stuff we bought.  So big bands became hugely popular and sold a ton of records.  Now days the music industry has been in decline for a long time.  Music is easy to find online, everyone has many different preferences and it seems to be the smaller bands that have specific genres and targeted audiences are doing the bet. 

I connect these two things together simple by saying that as musical genres have exploded and students listen to a ton of different music they are increasingly pulled into smaller and smaller groups.  The superstar youth pastor just can’t connect with all the varied tastes and needs of all the students anymore.

So this post is simply about volunteers.  It’s been proven time and time again that successful youth ministries are ministries full of volunteers.  I want to go on record and also say that creating a youth ministry that has many volunteers loving and leading students is tough.  It’s not an easy task to find volunteers, it’s not easy to train them and it’s tough to let them do the things that you as the youth pastor used to do all the time.  But, if you want a successful ministry that’s not about you you have to move in that direction.

Part 1: Parents are your best friends or worst enemies.
Part 2: You won’t like every kid and every kid won’t like you.
Part 3: Perceived vs. Real Needs.
Part 4: Learn to say you are sorry.
Part 5: Better Safe than Sued
Part 6: Find friends outside of youth ministry.

Part 7: Stick to it
Part 8: It’s not about you
Part 9: What you feed grows. What you starve Dies.
Part 10: Have a life outside of ministry.  Marriage/family/relationships.
Part 11: Fall in Love with God again.

Sometimes I look back on my career in youth ministry and wonder why I’ve worked at 4 churches. The reality is when I write this post I feel a little guilty because it might seem from my resume that I’m saying something I don’t believe in.

I think I can simplify this though by simply explaining my journey and saying that I really have only made one decision to leave a church and go and work elsewhere and that switch didn’t work out which made me have to make another one.

My first church Lake Avenue Church gave me an opportunity to intern while I worked full-time as a teacher and went to Fuller Seminary when they asked me to work Full-Time in the youth ministry is was in an interim position where I knew that in a year I would have to find another job. This was a transitional position between the teaching world and the church world.

I served at Bel Air Presbyterian Church for 6 years. This is the church where I grew up as a youth pastor and had some of my best times. I really learned how to be a leader and still consider this to be my home church. The one transition I spoke of earlier was when Danielle and I decided we didn’t want to raise our family in Los Angeles and made the decision to leave Bel Air and go to San Diego.

My third church North Coast Calvary Chapel just wasn’t a good fit. They knew it and I knew it right away. I was not the person they should have hired. We tried it for just over 2 years and ultimately it was clear that it wasn’t the right place for us to do ministry. I love that church, the pastors and the community but it was clear to me that God used me more effectively in the structure of the PCUSA.

The Church I am at now is what I would consider a gift from God. Highland Park Presbyterian Church is a great fit and a place that we see ourselves staying for a long time. I am blessed by my youth staff, the church staff as well as the community. It’s a long ways from our family, friends and the beach but so many great opportunities.

So how does “Stick with it” work in my life. It’s pretty simple I have several students and families that I have done ministry with for many years. They are mostly all from my church in Los Angeles and I love them, talk to them regularly and visit with them whenever I can. For me “Stick with it” also means that the staff I have worked with at every church are still my friends and we’re still doing ministry together just in different locations. “Stick with it” means that I have made the decision that Youth Ministry is what I want to do, it’s what I’m called to do and it’s what I’m good at doing. It means that every day I wake up wondering how God is going to keep using me to reach students, families, leaders and other churches. It means that as I’ve gotten older and no longer think “lock-ins” are good ideas that I have transitioned into roles that are different but still important and in youth ministry.

So even though I’ve had a few places of work I’m still sticking with it. I like to think of it this way. Any student who was ever in any of my youth groups could call me today and could see that I’m still basically doing the same things I’ve been doing for the last 15 years. I’m still a Youth Guy. I’m still working to make sure all students know that God loves them and that whenever they come back, call, e-mail or text the message stays the same. God loves them and so do I.

Part 1: Parents are your best friends or worst enemies.
Part 2: You won’t like every kid and every kid won’t like you.
Part 3: Perceived vs. Real Needs.
Part 4: Learn to say you are sorry.
Part 5: Better Safe than Sued
Part 6: Find friends outside of youth ministry.
Part 8: It’s not about you
Part 9: What you feed grows. What you starve Dies.
Part 10: Have a life outside of ministry. Marriage/family/relationships.
Part 11: Fall in Love with God again.

This last week I met with a group of guys and we talked about pride. The main issue that came up in this conversation was the inability of most men was to admit that they didn’t know what they were doing and ask for help. I shared with this group that I have struggled with wanting people to think I had it all together and that my life was figured out. I shared that my first bunch of years in ministry I felt like there was this rule that I had to seem in control with the answers to everything.

In the past couple of years though I feel like I’ve really had to work through this issue and it’s been a great thing. I learned the hard way that being vulnerable is a helpful skill for a pastor to learn. I had a couple situations happen with leaders, students, parents and even family where I had to step up and apologize for the way I had handled things. I had to be vulnerable which was difficult because it made me have to admit I didn’t know what I was doing.

As I write this post I’m convicted that I haven’t always asked for forgiveness and there are a few situations that I want to go back into and ask for some forgiveness.

Part 1. Parents can either be your best friends or worst enemies.
Part 2. You won’t like every kid and every kid won’t like you.
Part 3. Perceived vs. Real Needs.